March 2012
3 posts
The girl next to me is writing a note to her friend using twelve different retractable gel pens. She uses a different color for every word and clicks her pen shut every time she switches.
The guy across from me is playing with his keys.
The other guy across from me is listening to dubstep and I can hear it.
I’m also on my period.
Sorry for the tmi but that detail was necessary so you...
I put cherry kool aid in my reusable Starbucks cup
You will never be as classy as me.
Anonymous asked: Worst thing you are willing to admit about the kind of person you are?
3 tags
My 18th birthday is going to be Lorax themed.
I haven’t had a themed birthday for a good ten years, so it’s high time.
Watch
Anonymous asked: So you are going to NYU next year?
The Tattered Cover coffee shop girl gave me an eye roll and said “oh how nice for you” after I told her NYU was probably where I was headed next year when she asked about my sweatshirt.
A 20-something dreadlocked hipster barista just openly condescended me.
No bitch, no. That just… Barista belittling the pre-med. In what alternate universe? Just… why?
You could come...
February 2012
205 posts
The look on underclassmen's faces when I see them...
It’s nothing personal.
9 tags
Watch12:30 a.m. I still have homework don’t care going to make my bischon dance to Lil’ Jon instead.
In the past year or so, I feel like I’ve grown up a lot. Maybe a bit faster in the most recent several months. Because I have to learn how to be an adult and do things for myself. And the more I read about reality — the everyday things that I’ll have to deal with when I get older that no one really talks about because they don’t seem important — the more I feel like...
When “Pokemon” was first released in Japan,...
Attention, good citizens of tumblr
Care to look at pictures of my pre-pubescent body in my prom dress and give me your opinion?
Anonymous asked: Jesus what are you, anorexic?
When your size zero prom dress is too big because...
So why am I still chubby, what is wrong with my proportions?
A little kindness goes such a long way
Analytics have never been a gift.
So yeah will some rando that I’ve never met before just let me pour out my emotions to them?
I don’t have anyone to talk to about this.
Do you know how that feels?
Anonymous asked: Why don't you get your boyfriend to take you? Or is that no more?
I'm going to be the only girl at prom without a...
No this is what’s going to happen all my friends will get dates and I won’t and I won’t be able to go because Vera is lame and won’t go with me thanks a lot Vera.
knickles asked: Oreos&Seinfeld> EVERYTHING
Sittin' in my office with a plate of grilled bacon
Call my man Dwight just to see what was shakin'
Yo Mike, our town is dope and pretty
So check out how we live in the Electric City!
1 tag
Eat oreos and watch more Seinfeld or do a Biology...
Or eat oreos and watch Seinfeld AND do my biology lab?
Gel electrophoresis isn’t even that complicated okay, it’s just some CSI shit. It’s like the only thing in CSI that people also do in real life.
I’ve made my decision, no biology lab, just oreos and Seinfeld.
Ta-ta, tumblr.
Anonymous asked: Do you work out?
Okay so I get it you’re jealous or bitter or you don’t like me or whatever but I don’t think I deserve your pretentious bitch attitude or tone, so, yeah basically fuck you for being so snide for no reason.
Oh yeah the boy I just quoted is my new job
I got a new job today. I went for my interview with the family at 5:15, as scheduled, and it wasn’t really an interview it was more just “when can you start we’re firing our nanny soon.” So I was like, “wheneva” and they were like “c u l8r.”
I love this kid. He has a sister too but she was a little shy. He’s just hilarious, without being...
“Snitches get stitches. That’s mean but I don’t care.”
– Chase, age 11. The boy I will be spending the next seven months caring for. Beef jerky is his favorite snack, also.
Alright I need some gold bond or something because my elbow skin looks something like the skin of a Komodo Dragon who fake tans twice as much as the entire population of the Jersey Shore.
My dog keeps leaving me for his dog bed but I just want to be spooned so I put his bed on top of my bed and am using his bed as a pillow so he can be near my face.
Everyone is happy.
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
I haven’t been scheduled at my job in four weeks. When I really think about it, I haven’t really had a job in five months since I quit the last one in October. I think the most I’ve worked at Pei Wei in a week was 5 hours. I thought this was the right job for me back then because I was worried about handling so many hours with my senior schedule.
Well now I don’t give two...
Anonymous asked: Okay you are a perfect human, look at those proportions wtf
3 tags
People who buy Holgas even though they’ve never developed a roll of their own film or understand medium format photography, because it’ll give them a bit of hipster cred and some tumblr notes.
Don’t try to shove a piece of bread into a toaster when that bread is bigger than the toaster hole.
It will get stuck and you will try to pull it out with your fingers and you will burn yourself. The toast will continue to char itself. But ruined breakfast isn’t really your problem, it’s more so the fire you will start than anything else.
Some say Mean Girls is the most quotable movie.
Well, I’m watching Napoleon Dynamite right now. And I beg to differ.